Ill tell myself that Im over it but he hasnt changed anything to make me feel like this time around, things will be different. I understand that. I approached him with the way I felt about a situation in a mature way, and now he is pushing me away and saying he needs time alone. You could be questioning your feelings because maybe deep down you dont think you deserve something good in your life. He has been doing it ever since. Anyway, go easy on yourself. I am trying to battle on, but to be honest I am devastated beyond words. Their internal view of how they see themselves is so dark that they can't see the light of who they really are. I cant control it but thats what Im working on right now. I can feel myself emerging as a better human and lover slowly, and know this this is not a wasted experience, but a necessary decision to learn who I am and what I truly value in this world. The way I said it he thinks Im prpud of what I did which is not true seriously. To give us a new start and to find jobs. Depression I put her threw. I was self-sabotaging & I was not completely in-love when we got married & I felt like he couldnt hurt me. But Im having trouble getting the feelings back. She finished college and at 29 got pregnant with a guy she was dating for a couple months. I had completely cut him off to intimacy because it did not seem fair to me to allow him that side of me and we werent even together. please can you help me. I gave him my number after his request. She is a wonderful woman. Hi Megan, After a year things changed slowly. So I started chatting with his cousin. for 3 years everything was going awesome we were so in love seeing eachother all the time and always doing everything together and hanging out at the same friends house and then we started arguing about non sense and getting really jelous of eachother when nothing was even happening i sorta decided i got bored/tired of it and i broke up with her. My husband feels disrespected and made a fool of because I didnt take control of the situation. I also lost my mum at the age of 9, which comes with its own issues. And, I have a son and he was 5 when my ex & I started dating. Its way too confusing for him. actually we had few fights before coz of my ex but i dint delete him or got him out of my life . I truly do not want this and I want to love her the way she deserves to be loved, but it is sooooo hard to let go of the control and leave it up to what will be. If anything, I am more weepy and depressed than ever before. She was upset of my rejection but I thought about and said yes. I have been working on this with daily affirmations, meditation and self-soul care. Weve bee fighting quite a bit and he broke up with me once. He felt neglected by me and thinks it may be too late to work out any issues. Out of blue she called me this Monday February 20 early in the morning on my way to work. This also bothers me. We have more information about what to do in a crisis at https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. It isnt that your wife didnt care. I have been clean since the last time, in March. He felt that I condescended to him a lot, said the worst things to him at the worst times, and maybe the right thing at the wrong times, he does not feel I was supportive in the way he needed me to be when he most needed it. In fact, research shows that people in the therapy professions often have had painful childhoods so they go into these fields to better understand themselves as well as out of compassion for others who may be suffering in a similar way. My girlfriend and I recently broke up after a 3 month relationship in which there was at least one other break up. How do I overcome it and trust fully? Sure, what he did was wrong. It was our anniversary the other day and he didnt say or even do anything, so I didnt remind him at 10 pm on valentines day I got a, oh its valentines day, happy valentines day babe, ha ha I beat you. I know i love him. I eventually grew out of that, or so I thought. For 10 months of 2014 we visited marriage counselors & a psychologist trained in the respective fields to help us both lovely good-hearted women who attempted to help us through into healing. I told him I dont love him anymore. He has broken every promise outside that. Hi Tim Change your way. I feel like I need to point out that I am only 21 and he is 22. He is someone from my past that I used to fool around with. Initially my husband attempted to use lots of sexual intimacy to help us get over his emotional infidelity; hot romance oozed out of this man who hadnt had a romantic moment with me in 37 years. I need to keep him safe and I need to revamp my whole attitude around him. My husband handed her the keys & walked away. It has been two months and I am depressed. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. He asked for a break and then got back with his childs mother who he hasnt been with for 10 years. I still feel betrayed at the most basic level of the one person I trusted most in this world. What I found most interesting about was u said was that I dont love his character? I should have stop him but I didnt. I low key want to move on, away from him. Now we are at a crossroads where Ive hurt him so much that he cant let go and cant forgive me, even though all these events happened at least 2years ago. Since you do not say what the argument was that turned her off and I dont really understand the every-day feel of your relationship, I dont know what to suggest other than that your girlfriend might want to make an appmt w me since I am a Marriage & Family Therapist. I once said I hoped we could get back what we had and he said me too. My boyfriend and I recently separatedabout 3 1/2 weeks ago. I dont have to have him pointing telling me how I should do things when I do not trust him either. She would ignore me constantly, sometimes days at a time and was never there for me. It took me a while to learn to trust either of them again but I did it. My friend recently told me that she felt bad that she felt great without me and wanted to eventually have a discussion with me (with time). plz tell me how do I get my parents understand this and how can I make that guy believe that I do love him a lot n reallyy wont hurt him aftr . but thats not an issue for me. but he kept doing things that broke my heart. I had a little girl with her and today I thank my e partner for leaving me and taking our daughter away from the pain and suffering I was causing. I am a highly responsible person who took care of my husband all this time, etc. I lost a lot of weight another guys told me how good I lookedhe never said one word! I had never been in love like this before and I took it all for granted. She said she was glad I didnt attend the wedding and that she had more fun without me being there. I agreed. Xx, Thank you so much for commenting. I finally left the relationship and she is still hanging on and has shown that she is trying to make changesI think it is now on me I am not sure if I am ready to move past it or maybe it is too late for me? We are like soul-mates and only like the comfort from each other. The hard part is that i see her every day (at work) and some days it feels like Im slipping back into anxiety ridden grief. At first I dismissed this saying No you have to go if you cant love me but then I got to thinking maybe this is an opportunity to show him I realize my weaknesses and that I realize I caused him to loose his since of self and rebuild things between us. Or you want to take action, but also remain passive. Hi Helen, Over time I joined a car club. What can I do, or do I do anything at all yet and just give him time to process it all? Its great! Hello, You are saying that he is home and wont let you come? I never know what to do, he says I dont comfort him, that hes tired for the past three years hes done everything, he puts my feelings first and as a girlfriend all of this should be an instinct, I should know what to do and say as a girlfriend. One thing I do know, I will never allow myself to love again. Hi Raquel, Getting to the video is easy. I know and accept he is married, I wouldnt want his wife nor would I expect him to leave his wife because they have been together a long time, I simply like what we have between us. That they were just social media stuff. I brought us both down and it has destroyed everything we had. I never regretted . The kind of trust and respect we had is something that neither of us had ever had with anyone before and is devastating to lose. He is a black hole of effort and emotion that will always need filling. Do I refrain from any words like I love you, I miss you or is ok to give her little words to let her know Im here and thinking of her so much with sorrow, regret and understanding. I trusted him to be responsible. She finally left me on September 5th. He has to commit to making changes or getting help if he cant figure out how to treat a woman by himself. But his words also remind us that behind the clouds, the sun is always still shining. But i had to reply to know who sarah is by asking who is this but no reply since then. I also am glad you are going to start counseling. Alone. Im sorry to read of your heartache. Shes lost mytrust as when I we argued often I begged for never gave her space I kept saying Ill never do it again. Thanks for your time in advance & I know that if this goes further we will need therapy TOGETHER. He slowly opened back up to me and after 4 months I got a I love you from him, which frankly shocked me into speechlessness. Or find someone local to yourself who is intelligent and kind. I dont know why she didnt jump at the opportunity for divorce when I put it on the table. He was rude, impatiend and miserable with me. I love hi. The challenges you face in your marriage might leave you feeling like the union is over and that it's time to separate. That is what you need. i was so mad at my boyfriend and i cried all the time and we argue a lot. Hed find a new girl that would worship him in a sense.offer her home, car, money. I feel really bad. i never had the courage to tell him because i thought somewhere that this will hurt him a lot . He says he didnt tell her he wanted to work things out but she told me he did. They have to feel deep feelings AND compassion for another person. Like get off social media. My problem exactly Arthur. Im just doing what I can to show him Im serious about my personal changes, and serious about a real future with him. Didnt know if trying so hard all the time was worth it. Were you afraid of him? Every other fight we have, he breaks up with me, annoying, and he calls me names that are really hurtful. What should I do my parents are against him I cant live widout him n now he is moving away frm me . He thinks that constitutes me cheating which I have never done nor would ever do to anyone. Hi Uncertain, You share interests, get . It makes it hard to work toward reconciliation when she gives me little but fleeting hope and she still talks to Mr. perfect over in India. How can I get myself to a better place? People in the band began to call him names like security cause he wanted to be everywhere I was & didnt want to give me a small little space , I mean ? But I took the time to for once be honest with my fianc & myself about everything. 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